Chabad's Non-Feminism Feminism

2/2/24

It is no secret that Orthodox Jews see some things differently than Conservative Jews, who see things differently than Reform Jews.

This is obviously so. Were it not the case, these labels would not exist.

Shortly after our move to Martha's Vineyard, Hadassah received a message from a woman she had invited to one of our events. The lady explained that her views of feminism would not allow her in good conscience to participate in a Chabad event, which she said did not conform to her identity as a proud feminist.

I found that quite ironic considering the event was organized by, and the invitation was given from, a female community leader!

Today, Hadassah is in NY for the world's largest Jewish conference of women's leadership, where 4,500 Chabad Rebbetzins from around the world gather for a weekend each February.

As Chabad houses are co-directed by couples, who are often parents to several children, the men and women meet at separate conferences. This allows one spouse to attend while the other can stay home to manage the organization and care for the family.

Today, you'd be hard-pressed to find another organization with as large a percentage of female leadership in the core structure of its institution. With 5,600 Chabad representative couples worldwide, some 2,800 Chabad women are leading their communities. A staggering 50% of Chabad leadership is women.

Judaism traditionally does value gender roles, places an emphasis on family building, and recognizes differences in the ways women and men participate in synagogue rituals. But traditional Judaism doesn't view equality as equal conduct, but rather equal value. Women and men have varying roles, but each is of equal importance.

And it's okay that others may see things differently and have a different perspective on this.

In tomorrow's parsha, we read about G-d giving the Torah at Sinai. The verse states that as the Jews gathered at Sinai, they stood together as "one man with one heart."

G-d's giving the Torah to the Jewish people was preconditioned on them being united. Kabbalah likens us to a vessel receiving G-d's blessing; if we lack unity, we are fragmented and can not contain the gifts G-d gives us.

In a 1984 essay, the Lubavitcher Rebbe writes about three ways of creating unity - turning a "you" and an "I" into a "we."

The first, which at first glance seems the most ideological, is for the two parties to unite through a compromise. You tweak your perspective a bit, I change mine a bit, and suddenly, there is no more division. We are one.

Or are we? While this approach might seem the most practical, it would be wrong to call it unity. In this scenario, there is no we for there is no longer a you or I. I am no longer I, and you are no longer you. We have both become something else. It would be a shallow attempt at unity.

The second is that we begin seeing eye to eye by one of us conforming to the other's views. But in this scenario, there is only one entity, and it is not we. It is either an I to which you have conformed or a you to which I have conformed.

While a ridiculous proposition, it is unfortunately all too prevalent in today's society. Just last year, the NY Times published a series of hit articles on the haredi communities of NY attacking their choice of education for their children.

You and I may or may not choose to give our families the Haredi education and lifestyle, but it is proven and tested that Haredi families live happy, fulfilling, meaningful, and crime-less lives, arguably more so than some who receive the public school education the NYT argued for. But none of this stopped the NYT's moral superiority and denigration of Haredi education and lifestyle. Wait a second, what happened with diversity? Good question.

Clearly, the second method of achieving unity is not actually unity at all. It is the elimination of all others besides me.

The third and true method of achieving unity is when you and I both retain our unique backgrounds, ideologies, opinions, and lifestyles. And we are open-minded enough to recognize the value of perspectives other than our own.

When we do so and live together as a society despite and with all of our differences, it is then that we have achieved true unity. We now have an I and a you, and we can, therefore, hope for a we. This can be likened to what Ethics of the Fathers describes as a unity "which is not dependent on anything," unlike the first two, which demand either conformity or compromise in the absence of which their supposed unity would fail.

Tomorrow, as we read in shul about the Jewish unity experienced at Sinai, let's reassess what unity and diversity mean.

Too often, in pursuit of our vision of a perfect world, we fail to realize that true diversity is not when others align with our ideologies but when they are free to practice theirs. And to do so without judgment.

If we can live in a community and be friends with people across the political divide and with varying religious attitudes -- and even different perspectives on feminism--there is a good chance we're on the right track.