Sibling Rivalry and Jewish Infighting

12/26/2025

Reading the Torah looking for inspiration, one might be puzzled to find that much of the book of Genesis is centered on stories of sibling rivalry and hatred.

Immediately following the creation of man, we are introduced to Cain and Abel, the world’s first pair of siblings, which of course ends in murder. Then we learn about the strained relationship of Isaac and Ishmael, followed by the bitter fight of Jacob and Esau, only to conclude this week with the culmination of the story of Joseph and his brothers.

What does it say about a people whose heroes all fought with their siblings? And what is the message of the Torah in repeatedly introducing us to our ancestors as people who fought with their own family?

This question is even more puzzling when you notice that there is one powerful exception to the stories of sibling rivalry in Genesis, a story that expresses the polar opposite, of the deepest sibling love and support.

When Jacob and Leah’s daughter Dina is abducted and raped by the prince of Shechem, two of her brothers, Simeon and Levi, plan a revenge plot (the details of which disappointed Jacob) to retrieve their sister and ensure that such a crime would never be committed again.

Who were the Jewish patriarchs and matriarchs? Did they get along with their family? Did they fight with their siblings, or did they fight for them? And why would the Torah fixate on these stories at all, making them the central focus of the book of Genesis?

But I think that when we read Genesis in the context of the contrasting stories, it all makes sense.

Perhaps the Torah is telling us that we as Jews, as brothers and sisters, will fight with each other. We will quarrel. We will have differences of opinion, even strong and bitter ones that will lead to jealousy and hate. It is unfortunate, it is sad, but inevitable at times.

But the Torah is reminding us that to any infighting there must be a strong red line.

That we should know that any feuds, fights, and quarrels are between each other as siblings.

And that when we are in a struggle not against each other but against another, then all our differences and infighting must disappear.

Cain might kill Abel, Ishmael might despise Isaac, Esau might hate Jacob, the brothers might be jealous of Joseph, but when somebody outside the family abducts your sister, then hell with the sibling rivalry, and we must stand united together to support each other.

It is important for the Torah to teach us this message, because history shows us that too many times we neglected to hear it.

Whether it was the Hellenists in the Chanukah story, the assimilationists during the Enlightenment, the Yevsektzia in the Soviet Union, the Kapos in the camps, or those threatening the security of millions of Jews in Israel today, too many times we failed to stand up for one another and were quick to embrace the hatred of others toward our own.

And it is easy to fall into this trap, especially as siblings who often are quarreling anyway.

We must therefore read and reread the book of Genesis, and hope and pray that its message informs and inspires us, that we should be worthy of Hashem’s blessing to never become our own foe, to always stand together and never mistake our sibling rivalry as an excuse to join our enemies.

And when we do, we can be certain that Am Yisrael Chai, the Jewish people will live on, forever.

Rabbi Tzvi Alperowitz